weds -
5/10/06
56 degrees
night sweats: none
bowels : ok
heat: low
itch: low to moderate
psychic activity: low
>>>wow. did not take a "vinnie" all day yesterday.
Ive detoxed from the percodan. The vidacin and the ambien.
i fell a sleep praying to god last night.
today i woke up thinking of andrew. I'am not sure why.
andrew is gone now.
i owe him my life.
I met andrew around 1992, maybe 93 at the height of the hiv epidemic panic.
the "Silence = Death" banners were in every shop window in the villiage. the west villiage then the epicenter of political protests, candelight vigils, home of the new gay and lesbian center where "ACT-UP" was born and held weekly meetings...
the west villiage was also where st. vincents hospital was. it was the hospital you went to when you were dying. you'd visit your friends, watching them deteriorate on the AZT and from the windows of the higher floors you could see the streets filled with angry fags blocking traffic - protesting...acting up.
the media swirling around close behind. you could watch the streams of candels at night held by loved ones carried through the streets and down to the peirs located at the end of "Christopher" street a known destination for gay men the world over...
in the mid eighties -
back then gay owned business' and coffee houses, clothing stores, and porn shops were concentrated into two blocks...
adjacent and one block above christopher is the site of "Stonewall"
the agreed and ackowledged birthplace of the gay rights movement:
the two minute history lesson of how gay rights began "officially" goes like this. the stonewall bar was a mob "protected" bar that allowed drag queens, writers and artists and their hangers on to converge and gather...
at that time there was actually laws against "dancing in bars" and restrictions on the books that disallowed a person to leave his table and simply go up to another table and chat...
basically you were not allowed to fraternize, talk or communicate in groups...but you could meet at the same place, order some food or drink so long as you stayed seated...
if the police raided the place which apparently happened a few nights a week and you were seen standing and talking then this was sufficent reason to arrest you or even the entire bar...
>>>It's true - believe it or not...
i suppose glances, stares or maybe phone numbers were passed via the bartender or waiter...
well...so the story goes...
around june mid 1969, nightly raids and arrests were commonplace at the "stonewall" bar. the entire bar, on any given night, could be arrested and booked on "indeceny charges" which included:
touching, holding hands, wearing clothing designed for the opposite gender or god forbid: kissing another man...
outside the bars, in the streets of the villiage, sting operations were organized by police to entrap gay men into admitting they were interested in SAME sex...sex
plain clothes police would basically lure anyone they believed might be homosexual into offering a stare, a nuance, a conversation...
where upon youd be arrested for "indecent" behavior...
subsequently your name would also be publised in the newspaper later in the week.
it's interesting to ponder just what tactics the police of that time used to lure unsuspecting gay men into their snares...hmmmm lets see...
do you like opera?
are you a friend of dorothy?
do you wear green socks on tues?
these secret "gay" codes unknown to local police were secret invitations or inqueries by gay men: at that time everyone was in the closet...
the only way you could connect was to venture a risk and ask a few questions...
my guess is the cops used all sorts of pyhsical gestures, perhaps crotch grabbing, winks and head nods to seduce or intice the poor tortured gay guys into responding and thus then being trapped and blamed for the incident they were booked for "indecent" behaviors...
the police even went so far as to journal all automobile lisence plate numbers within a three block radius of known homosexual establishments and then track the license plates to a home address where upon theyd visit and inform the residents that their cars were parked near a gay bar further adding to the harrasment and invasion of privacy of anyone that dared go near these "places."
likewise: Iv'e heard many stories from gay-oldtimers that you could be arrested on a whim for basically smiling at another guy on the street: but not before the undercover detectives or police forced the suspects to submit to sex...
or give the detective a blo job in the hopes of being "released."
<
A man named dick leitsch - the president of the first gay rights organiztion in the country:
"the Mattachine Society" was relatively militant in comparison to former queer liasons that communicated to the police commisioners or mayors office on the down low...
around 1966 Leitsch put "pressure" on the cheif of police and mayors offfice to stop "entrapment" stings and likewise the raiding of the two "homosexual" bars of the time:
"the stonewall" and "julius'" by organizing a "sip in."
both establishments operated without liquor licenses both of which had their licenses revoked for serving alcohol to "three or more" bar patrons "suspected" of being homos..
Leitsch made a formal complaint to the civil rights commision that the state liquor authority policies were random and discriminatory...
two seperate court cases backed by mob cash, so the story goes, were opened and then closed: the ruling was that "sunstantial evidence" was needed in the future to revoke a liquor license.
this basically paved the way for "gay" bars to be legal...
but they still got raided...at the whim of the police.
as "gay history" has noted. men were allowed to meet but not allowed to touch, dance, or ah -- act like fags ? in public. "in public" defined as being "inside" the bar...
from 1966 to 1969 the raids continued coupled with increased mob pay offs, homo witch hunts - drag shows and gender fucks - gay and non gay artists, closeted wall streeters:"*
all converging and flocking to the bars which quickly became financial gold mines mind you...
it is said that allen ginsberg and jack kerouac, to name a few, and dylan thomas all frequented these places or places like them.
<<*A series of recent thefts from wall street brokerages had been traced to juluis bar - the story was that several closeted brokers were being blackmailed and could no loger provide the pay-offs out of their own pockets so they began stealing.>>
the patrons were more and more less inclined to respect and push the limits the hetero cops had laid down...
now this is the part where the drag queens come in...
and likewise ive heard that yes they had a few "Go-go" boys at these places...even back then?
A storm was brewing -- a gay storm ?
a lethal mix of pent up testoserone - alcohol and rage began to brew...throw in some angry drag queen - huslters - artists and Go - Go boys and few really mean lesbians....
the match to the dynamite was close at hand..
but the real "unspoken" crime apparently had more to due with rascism than homophobia. these bars allowed the co-mingling of black, puerto rican and whites which was unheard of at that time..
what a sight that must have been ----
for the "totally white hetero" cops that came in to make the arrests. were they turned on - repulsed - aroused - ? jealous?
all of the above...?
Imagine the white - hetero butchy-s walking in the door and seeing: femmy puerto ricans vouge-ing, go go boys in chaps, ? men holding hands, guys in questionable clothing, perhaps a few trans-gendered men or "mary's" and maybe even a couple of dykes...?
ah - men dancing together...or even maybe - kissing...
to the cops back then it must have been a freak show.
by today's standards, nobody would raise an eyebrow.
the homos were gahtering their numbers -
the fags got angry...and drunk and arrested and then sick and tired of being sick and tired and harrassed and beaten...
the sexual tension began to accumulate...
the rage brewed further.
A world wide -- underground was going to explode...the gay community was being birthed -- but not quite yet...
then in 1969 something happened.
judy garland died...
* * *
much like the lesbian icon - marlene dietrich was to the female gender benders who smoked and wore men's suits: judy galraland became a religious-spiritual figure to the disenfranchised gay men and drag queens of the sixties.
on this particuliar night in june they had converged on fire island to mourn their icon and hold a candelight vigil bereaving their loss...
where upon they returned to the city and the stonewall bar to continue their mourning.
the june heat and humidity after the coolness of the "fire island pines" wafting through the streets added the last co-factor needed...
the drag queens were tired, unconsolable, thirsty and hot...after making the trek back into the city as they filed into the stonewall, their safe place, a raid began...
but it was not going to be business as usual on that night...
no.
if you know anything about drag queens no matter the color of their skin...their personaes empower them to act in ways they wouldn't out of drag...
judy garland - their queen was dead...
the summer heat was raging...the tension had been collecting for months -- years...
this was the 60s - the time of Woddstock - free love - LSD - drug experimentation...rage against the establishment...
the Stonewall Bar...late - late at night...-
drunken queens - alienated "others" - huslters trying to make a buck...minority go - go boys...all the right chemicals for an explosion of rage and change...the match to the dyno-mite...
the cops entered the bar...for their nightly raid...
the fags would submit to their usual beatings - and submission to giving blow jobs - maybe getting fucked -- in an alley...
"i'll let you go -- if you -- just -- open wide..."
The macho-shithead cops roll in -- "billy-club-nightsticks a waving-- perhaps the truer symbols of their gay dicks - turned on and ready to get something...
but then -- someone -- stood up -- in an act of divine rebellion...
gay rage swelling...the world over - focused in the epi-center of manhattan...and then -- it began...
>>>>one ashtray was thrown toward the cops - the oppressors - or maybe even a bottle was projected throw the air...
the accounts differ - with one account naming "sylyvia rivera" as the mother of the stonewall rebellion, who was accosted with a nightstick. another account has an unknown lesbian being pushed into a patrol car resisting arrest in front of a crowd which opened the floodgates of seething rage and gave the final call to arms...
perhaps the words:
NOT TONIGHT - !!! NO WAY...! maybe even a loud - "FUCK you!"
was uttered and heard...fomenting into the streets...
As the arrests were being made -- the cops surrounding the bar -- someone in the mix said: "no. not tonight."
enough was enough.
some of the partrons filed outside either to get away or be arrested in line - they were so used to this kind of treatment they simply filed into lines when the cops showed up...
but the drama was to be different on june 29, 1969...
an ash tray hurled threw the air -- A drag queen knocked the glasses and bottles from the bar...lurched or lunged or even grabbed the night stick that was about to strike his head and then....a riot began...
>>>by historical lore -- all drag-queens of the time loaded their purses with rolled copper - pennnies - maybe even nickles to add weight to their shoulder bags --- and upon being assaulted or vicitmized in the streets late at night they were able to fend off random attackers...it was called:
the "drag-queens revenge."
a sort of "brass knuckles wrapped in gold lame' or red leather...
what a site -- a guy in heels -- drunken - make-up smeared -- abused and angry -- and swinging around a sand-bag of coins into the heads in-coming attackers...
A modern day - "David and Goliath" in heels...
the Stonewall exploded...
the cops got pushed into the bar and the patrons blocked the door so they couldn't get out. then someone lit a trash can on fire and threw it into the bar...
the cops were stunned -- the social - sexual tension/oppression literraly exploded into a violent rageful riot of vengence...
a gay melee began...
and spilled out onto the streets...raged through the villiage and into the steamy city...
people began knocking on doors and screaming from the streets to come outside and join...
telephones rang through the queer underground...
A call to arms -- citywide -- perhaps the world over ?
an estimated crowd of over 2,000 quickly converged fending off the 400 police dispatched to the area...
the unoffical story is that the cops chose the obviously most effeminant men first and beating them with nightsticks...
but they fought back...
they figured they had nothing to lose by clawing - throwing a punch back -- defending themselves for the first time ever...
and it turned into a confused - chaotic free for all...
cops and protesters alike were injured.
that first night there were around 13 arrests...
i suppose the cops were caught off gaurd when the drag queens then "de-dragged" so to speak and turned into angry men prepared to defend themselves...
and likewise these were the same cops that many of which had all ready had sex with the drag queens either by complicit agreement or by force...
surprise...
yeah a big -- "gay" surprise...and a big fuck you to everything -- white and hetero - and opressive...
some tried to light the bar on fire where the police had fled and collected.
historical accounts agree:
"the crowd was uncontrolable, uncontainable and relentless..."
cars were overturned. trash cans a blaze. screaming and resitance: "gay power! GAY power...!"
indeed.
a special tactical police force was dispatched to the area that was trained in veitnam protests but even this - special battalion could not quell the rage and fury of the gay community...who contiued to pelt the police with rocks and "other projectiles."
that first night.
According to the police blotter: At around 4am things dispersed but atleast half of the 2,000 people returned the next evening causing extensive property dammage.
NIGHT AFTER NIGHT --
the riots continued...with the same furious opposition...
then for five days all was quiet as the police and gay community regrouped...ultimately clashing again on the sixth night. the repression of decades simmered and boiled to the surface...
the new "GAY LIBERATION FRONT" set up head quarters in several american and european universities and cities within months as a show of support after hearing the news of "stonewall" which spread via the only forms of communication at that time: letters and telephone...
a year later -
a public march was held from the west villiage to central park in attendence between 5-10 thousand men and women which as you can guess became the world's first gay pride march/parade which is now held annually in most major cities on the last sunday in june...
* * *
fast forward -- to 1992
two blocks below christopher street, on the abandoned west villiage - (greenwich) piers stod andrew in the june heat...sporting a tank top. his arms raised to his shoulders his fingers grasping the chain link fence behind him sort of like in the "arrest me" pose...
immediately i was attracted to him and introduced myself...
he removed his sun glasses and shook my hand...
"whats going on?" he said providing a numb glassy eyed gaze my way...showing his pits and wafting his masculine funk my way...
"I've seen you around..."
"yeah..." he nods in agreement.
>>>the first time we had sex it was pretty rough.
davey lowenstein was in the other bedroom of davey's apartment with some german tourist or perhaps they were getting it on in the kitchen which was decorated with faux madri-gras beads that davey stole from his "off the books" job in midtown...
andrew and i took davey's bed. the walls of the bedroom were lined with his recently deceased mother's dresses...(many of them chanel and YSL originals...)
davey, in order to quell his grief was taken to wearing his mothers clothes on occassion and you can bet no one ever said a word....talk about the "pink elephant" in the middle of the room...
hed serve coffee and wed play cards all afternoon and wait for our monthly food stamp alottment to show up on the computers...
all the while hed be wearing a jackie o-esque frock...
pink or black sometimes with sunglasses -
like i said...even walking down christopher no one looked twice...
ANDREW...
TO be continued...
