(work in progress...)
Brad...
I will never - ever forget the weekend I spent with a guy named Brad...
the week I met him he was recently released from jail for credit card forgery...
handsome as the devil...
a pathalogical liar and beautiful in spite of himself...
I truly believe whatever his true story was - he wanted to be good and do good - but -- from what the cops would tell me later he was..."A very -- very dangerous man..."
I never saw that side of him...
brilliant in his cons - and story and the love that came from his eyes....I dunno - I never felt that way as they say and No I never had and really haven't since then....
Brad...
(Now deceased....he jumped of the Brooklyn Bridge while being chased by the cops...)
I ponder him sometimes....want to speak with him -- tell him things - touch him again - look into his eyes -- he was such an intense lover -- are criminals always so hot ???
We made love twice - I regret the brevity of our knowing each other - for a week end only but no -- i will never forget him...
No --
I will never -- ever -- forget Brad....
my dark brother -- dopplegonger...theif -- and ex-con...
genius - bottom-boy...spinning stories about the "big house..."
Nyc's Rikers Island....lover....
Dear Brad:
you inspired me to poetry --
made me feel like the world was possible
lying - naked with you -- you took me to a world that couldn't punish us...
took me to the light of bliss and safety...>>>
the look in your eyes that fall early AM -- i will always remember...
I wish things could have been different for us -- yeah
I wish it all -- could have been so different -- but you --?
no - I want to remember you as the same...
same dark eyes and perfect ass and body and masculine chin...
pale skin and dark -- black cropped hair --
fresh from prison...
alone and sad....powerful...truly beautiful...
begging me to fuck you....yeah --
all of that - and those memories -- i wish -- i want - to stay just the same...
the following text i wrote with you in mind --
i think youd dig it -- talking about you and me -- as buds-- as friends in another time -- way back in the day -- kinda -- maybe in the 50s --
when everything was a secret....but still took place non the less...
yeah i wrote this story about us -
i had a day dream that we could be together in another time and a different place...
the 50s...
you and me
same hearts burning
same bodies - same souls...burning together again --
the 1950s -- seems like it would make for some really undercover hot hot burning hot smoking sex when you touched a guy and everything was totally taboo and forbifdden
yeah two guys trading glances from across the gym...
-- maybe going to the drive in movies....hanging -- out
drinking some beers....and then ....
???
yeah ....fuck yes!
guys gettin it on...
you know it happened --
back then...
maybe like my day dream I wrote for you below...
i hope you are well or free whereever you are...
I pray that the pain of what you were when alive here as i knew you -- has left you...and you are at peace...safe and in a light you knew you deserved...
yeah --
I truly will always love you...and always remember you --
yeah - i always will...
there will never be another guy like you ...
so here you go --
perhaps -- maybe someday this will reach you - on the wind -- through the clouds...on a whisper...or when will meet again -
in another time....but
until then...much love to you...
I love you so much...
Brad..
so here it is my hommage to your memory
brad and Sean in another time: at the drive in movies --
A daydream of the Drive IN ... circa 1950s
two buds drinking brews...
Brad and Sean...
Saturday night...
(two buddies go to the drive in movies)
the place:
>>>>> any town America --
Brad and Sean....
there are both in high school -- both are buffed - smart and clean and maybe well yeah hell yeah very well hung...
and full of tension and juice...
ready for something
something to happen...
ready to blow...
ready to look and touch and even taste - the forbidden mansexx-- the curves in the backs of their minds - under the moon glow of anytown america....
Sean has a car---
both are glad to have a car to hang out in at the drive in on the edge of twon..
Saturday night...9pm
" hey Brad -- thanks for coming to the movies with me --
you want some more popcorn ?
Sure...thnkxx
hey I brought a few beers if you don't mind...
Hey - I don't mind...
yeah this is great -- ya know Brad , --
i wouldn't worry about your girlfriend -- your such a handsome guy -- I know shell come around --
shes just mad right now -- but shell cool off...
besides you can have any girl you want --
you know what??
- (drinks deep from his beer and ponders...)
"look man --
your 6 foot 2 -- got those blue eyes -- broad shoulders -- nice body...all star quarter-back smile...
yeah any chick would wanna be with you --- dont worry --"
(they watch the screen and drink a few more beers...)
Sean pulls out a flask of Jack Daniels whiskey and they swig off of that and the time seems to fly away through the double feature picture show...
then...without warning..feeling kinda good and kinda horny and half hard -- and kinda drunk-ish..in the warm summer breeze....sitting in the car - the windows rolled down halfway but still holding in the heat...
the car gets real warm and toasty...and drowsy and dreamy...
Sean drops the tub of popcorn onto the floor board...
the pop corn spills everywhere...
"ooops -- sorry man -- dropped the popcorn all over the seat --and the floor -- shit-
fuck ---sorry --- yeah just scoop it up and put it back in the tub..No big deal..."
a faint smile...
the air cools...an then seems to warm..
shy smiles from both -
strange long silence....
then as Brad is picking up more of the popcorn Sean touches Brad's hand and holds it for a minute...
there eyes meet...and
the truth of both is revealed...
Sean then places his hand on Brad's shoulder....
>>>>>>>the air freezes...
they freeze --
there eyes meet again...
"hey - ahh
wwhat are you doing ?
"Just seeing how strong those neck muscles are...
Wow you really are solid..."
Brad gazes Sean's way...
a pause - as if time stops...
Brad Says..."Man i pulled a muscle today at practice...could you work out that knot...?
yeah right there - thats good..."
Sean begins to massage Brads shoulder...
"oh man---thats nice..."
Brad declares and begins to moan a bit...
then heaves out a long deep sigh...
turns his back to Sean...to allow him to massage both shoulders...
both their hearts are pounding -
a deep knowing -- a longing revealed -- uncomfortable silence...
Brad speaks first...
"Yean man..."
Brad exclaims..."ahh Sean that feeels great bro..."
he reaches back and touches Sean's hand but this time he holds it in his - and Sean does not pull away...he leans in...
and then slips both his hands through Brad's arms and holds them both together...chest to back...
Brad sits back instead of pulling away...
and then...
>>>>>
both guys are frozen...
paralyzed by their desires and wants...
its a total risk....but neither backs down from it....
Seans lifts one hand from Brad's chest and brings it to Brad's crotch...Brad has an rock hard errection...
parked all the way in the back --- alone and together,,,
laughing and talking about this and that -- and then...
the truth between them revealed...
Brad got a boner...
Sean touched it thru Brad pants....
Brads pants are stained by pre-cum oozing now from his fat cockhead..ahcing to be free and stick up and put thru the piss hole of his boxer shorts...
parked all the way in the back of the drive in...
no other cars around them...
((i try to imagine what it must have been like back then...when you felt an ache for your buddy so bad -- it had to tie a knot under the base of your balls and stay there in your ass...and stay there...tucked -- below - the heart of your desires...locked away---
)
my day dream with Brad...now that hes gone...
Brad and Sean...
wearing levis and khaki pants...white t-shirts underneath...
simple plain short sleeved dress shirts...
everything buried --
kinda drunk from a few beers - feeling good... and then -
the ice berg-- rises --
a frozen and melting glance...
pain -- shame-- fear--- need...joy...expectation -- truth...
the truth is so painfully clear...
and there between them...
both guys are in awe
in terror
but also know -- yeah -- this is what i want...
i want him...
i want him...
its forbidden...and no
we cant stop this from happening....
>>>>>"ah you ah -- want to...ah ----(hand placed on crotch)
you like that ?"
"yeah -----oh fuck yeah ---that feels so -- good man --
if you keep doing that -- i'll get hard -- oh fuc yeah that feels nice --
your hand feels so (F--king...) good there...
oh ok -- yeah lets ah ya wanna
-- go in the back seat --
yeah thats cool --
yeah ill take my pants off --- if you will...
yeah -- slide your pants down ...here let me unbuckle that -- thats it --
oh man o man you've got such a beautiful cock --
yeah -- i think youll like mine..
ok here - let me pull off my boxers --
yeah you like it -- ? fuck yeah thats nice -- yeah you can touch it --
its cool --
yeah ---buddy -
it's cool - I wont tell...I swear - I just wanna be next to you...
no ones looking...c'mon touch it -- yeah -- it feels so good --
thats it -- yeah baby---is it ok to ah -- i mean -- do you kiss?
oh yeah -- (their two chins fall toward each other slowly as if in a trance...)
oh my god ---oh yeah hot fucker - thats it --
kiss me -- Yes!
thats it -- oh fuck man -- your so hot
can i ah --touch your ah---- butt -- could i ah -- >>>
(finger your ass) -- yeah ?
oh man, it feels like god -- like God -- like heaven: like angels --
fuck man -- here lemme -- can I >>>>>> ---jack you off --
yeah -- can I?
will you -- kiss me --
yeah....
yes - ( heavy breathing...)
do you like that ??
Brad....
i knew from the first minute i saw you i wanted to do this with you
touch you -- kinda -- be next to you --
I'am not a queer-- man - ok?
i dunno -- i jus -
oh fuck - will you kiss me again?
yes -- real like -- deep and -- oh, man, that feels good --
can i?? (head lowers...) go down on your cock ?
is that cool ?
i wanted to for so long --
* * *
i saw you at the beggining of the school year --
in the showers - snapping towels on guys asses and laughing
and playin around...
you looked so beautiful --
strong and confidant --
hey -- you remember that time our eyes locked ?
we were playing basketball and you kinda sucker punched me on the court --
the coach called a foul and we looked at each other -- you remember that ??
can i go down on your cock -- is that cool ?
oh fuck yeah man -- oh god it tastes so good --
hey you wanna -- ah let me ah -- you know --
yeah -- could I?
nobodies looking...
ah man that butt of your is so sexy -- god is it hot in there -- yeah ride my finger and--
jack ur cock --
you like that?? --
you like --
getting ur ass fingered like that??
yes...yeah......it feels good...
I heard about what happened with you and that guy -- all those rumors and stuff..
did that really happen?
the coach caught you in the shower room ----
fucking lance johnson??
everybody said it was true --
but the coach didn't want to make a big deal of it because -- well --your like the star player for the school...
varsity everything --
oh yeah -- ? you wanna kiss some more ?
yeah...
thats it baby -- oh yeah -- slow and soft --
you want me to?? -- ahhhh....
ok - i dont think anybodies looking --
ok -- in a fury they take off their shirts and shoes
- then pull off their pants-- >>>>
thats it baby - oh fuck -- Cmere...
(yeah face to face in the back seat..)
(Brad mounts Sean's hard cock...)
yeah baby - oh god....yes!!
-- thats it just ease onto it slowly -
take the head of my cock ----slowly -- thats it my buddy yeah right into that warm hole of urs --
ohh---(F--ck!!)
Sean's cock slids all the way into the quarterbacks hole - nice and firm...
here ya go -- ok kiss me -- yeah ride my cock --
kiss me
take as much as you want -- yeah, yeah -- ride it all u want...
thats it yeah jack ur cock and ride my dick,,,
kiss me --
(long slow kiss as he rides Sean's hot piece....)
(Brad)
"fuck i think iam gonna blo a load..."
" -- yeah -- you sure ?"
"yeah -- !"
"ok man iam gonna do it -- is it cool?"
"fuck -- ok -- kiss me -- ok ah ---
yeah do it !!"
"ohh-- here it comes man -- "
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>oh my god --
(Sean) ---"your hole is so warm -- here ya go....
thats it man........ take my cum..."
(deep long kiss -- fuck yeah -- )
(they both spasm and orgasm together )
(-- Sean filling the quarter back's ass full of hot white cream...)
>> the quarter back sprays his load onto Sean's chest...
and then heaves out a long sigh
-- they stay that way for a minute...
and hold each other and kiss gently and stay just like that for a long. long - time...
quiet and warm...
then --
they realize that they have to go back to their (kinda)
hetero - lives -- (sigh)
they dress quietly and don't speak but then Brad gives Sean a short nice kiss on the cheek and then fully dressed unlocks the door handle and gets out of the car and gets into the front seat....
Sean does the same ---
he lights a marlboro red pack cig and drags off it slowly...
and then taps the steering wheel a few times trying to break the silence of what just happened....
silence...
ah -- i won't tell if you wont....
no -- no way -- i wont tell...
i swear --
hey can we see each other again ?
-- maybe meet here at the drive in -- maybe...yeah --
would you like that?
(shy but smiling) yeah I would...
maybe we can go in the same car again or hang out down at the lake late at night --
ok man we have to go back to reality now -
>>>>>>
-- fuck that was hot --
ok man --
they drive out of the drive in parking lot in silence -- and then Sean gives Brad a lift to his house --
ok --
they smile and look into each other's eyes --
ok -- ah ---ok ill see ya in the gym in PE...
and then Brad breaks the code for a second and says --
"fuck Sean ---- your so beautiful...."
Sean smiles briefly and then cuts it off...
we -- ahh I have to go....
ok man -- ill seeya later -
yeah
its cool....
ok -
bye -- Sean watches Brad walk slowly to his parents front door where he lives...
and then disappear inside...Sean drives away slowly...
his mind swirling drunk on what just happened....
the two of them changed forever....
