seanblog by Seanbateman9 "More random things."

I was born up from the pain of our lust.....
I came from you and me and the center of all that is light and dark...the essence of power and masculinity...
and being so birthed as i was told - by renegade angels and defectors from "God" my purpose is firm...and I'am solid now and real...and I need not swear my allegance to my brethan...
my gay brothers who i will always hold in light...whom I will always protect and guide and love...
no I need not take a vow - nor chant words of any kind:
why ?
because it is my purpose - it is what I'am - the protector - the strentgh of eros...personaifed and solidified
and when I'am done and finsihed there will never again be a gay child harmed nor hurt again....
no - i will bring power to us all...in a way - and change everything....
yes - I want you to be strong and go forth and inspire....
it is your duty and mine - and so be it - that they attack
then by my spell - it will only make you strong and yet more powerful...
my disciples belong to me...take my hand....
and enter...the Temple....
come forth - brother...allow me to touch you...and hold you ...yes...take my hand....

I love you
The angels have sworm that I would be their masterpiece...
The masterpiece of angels...
I'am now - Alive...and I came here just for you....

love Sean dirk...




a long time ago...


an angel was sent to watch over and protect a human...
but instead of protecting him the angel fell in love...
the angel fell in love with the human - every hour yearning to be closer and closer to him...

soon the angel forgot about God or heaven and became forever entranced with the human man...
soon the angel forgot to fly - he fell - and then was soon born into a human body...

the human went on with his life: being so deeply touched by the angels love that when he died he was able to ascend up to heaven...
filled with love: he became angel himself....

a long time ago a demon was sent to watch over a human...
the demon became entranced by the human and instead of destroying his soul, the demon fell in love with the human...soon the demon lost his will to do evil and fell from the powers of darkness...
the demon was born into a human body...
the human upon dying had no bad deeds to his life since the demon never once tempted or harmed him:
the human was full of love and went to heaven and became an angel...

once a long time ago an angel was sent to watch over a human...but soon the angel feel in love...

he forgot about heaven and soon instead of becoming human he became a demon...under the influence of the powers of darkness....

one day the demon was told to go and find a certain human and destroy his soul...
when he came upon the human he saw that he was protected by an angel...
instantly the demon was healed and flew right up to heaven...

because his sins were washed in an angels love - he too became an angel...
this is the story of how we are born...
and live and go to heaven....
we rise and fall...and live on.
sometimes the demon and sometimes the angel...but always in love...
and always going to heaven...




sean bateman9

Heaven Love Demons Angels

>>>>>>>>>>>




Saturday, October 28, 2006


dark night - adults only --
Current mood: artistic
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

charles -- upper east side -- sex and death -- thunder and lightning

the dark side --
ive been to the dark side a few times -
about two years ago...I met this guy ---
Charles -

i was randomly cruising the hook up now sites on the net
-- a site called: "Manhunt."
this guy hits me up -- charles --
5-7'tall 145 pounds -- had some sexy pics of his ass and dick loaded on his profile ...it looked good -- he shot me an email..."cum over here..."
"ok. giv me the address..."
He did -- I got into a cab...
He said that the "door would be open -- lights off -- just come in..."
hed be in the bedroom - in bed - naked.
Waiting.
I grabbed a cab for the upper east side...
it was around 2am.
the cab rolled through the streets silently --
then all of a sudden lightning-- ! rain --- thunder...
I got up to the east 70s - the building was a golden glass high rise of around fifty stories... I paused -- rain blowing everywhere -- came outta nowhere...
I looked up --to see the golden tower -- raing blowing across the glass -- the moon above -- thunder shooting again -- whoa...the tower of glass standing up in the night -- wicked -- foreboding...arousing --
he was up there - somewhere -- waiting - naked.
the door open - the lights off...his hole hungry for cock -- maybe for my cum...my mouth -- my hands...

I spoke to the doorman and he pointed to an elevator...
the car rose and floated to the right floor...everything was quiet...
the quiet of the wealthy -- fine carpet, nice artwork hung on the long running halls, the lighting nice - soft - perfect - quiet :
comfort and money...

I went in -- It was an L shaped studio --
the far wall - was all glass --
the bed was in the alcove off to the right...
I made my way through the large - dark space...
then I came upon the bed...
he lay there -- no sound at all - face down -
maynehe passed out --- ?

A small night light was on in the bathroom so i could just see his ass accented by a fine white sheet covering his body just above his lower back...and the shawdow of his face laying down...
still - quiet --
The rich textures of the sheets and the bedding - creating an artform of light and shadow with his upper torso... --
you could tell this man could afford the finer things in life...

He was smooth - mid 30s - no hair and not an ounce of body fat...
not pumped with muscle but more natural and toned...it was nice...
he looked nice - and fine and fuckable...

He didn't get up when I made my presence known...
I stood at the corner end of the bed...but didnt say anything --
I took the corner of the sheet between my fingers and felt the silky softness of it...nice. and then slowly pulled the sheet away to reveal his ass and naked body completely..
He was laying face down -- perhaps pretending to be a sleep..

I gazed upon his perfect hairless ass - the strong thighs, the scruffy shawdow of beard. His eyes were closed...

I paused briefly to see if he would turn around - he simply laid there - breathing softly...

I smelled his body and the room, and unlaced my boots --
then removed my clothes in silence...my dick sprang out --- half hard...

I ran my hand from the cneter of his neck -- ever so slowly -- to small of his back then to the crack of his ass --
and then down to the back of his thighs then I waited --
finally after a long pause -
I climbed on to the bed -- and kneeled next to him...

I stayed like that for awhile -- just looking...breathing in the money and finery - the opulence....his smell and body -- the scene:
I'am young and bored and rich and handosme...I can have whatever I want -- and tonight I wanted you --
I spit on my hand and began strokng my cock and touching his back and ass...then I bent to meet his body --
I pressed my mouth and then tongue to his middle lower back and tasted his flesh--then I moved my nose to his asshole...

All the while the room subdued and dark - and he laying still - eyes closed - not talking...I got it --
it was a fucked up game --
and I was in control...
it made me hard...my mind spun out of control over the possibilities...

I spread his cheeks apart - and then ran my tongue down the crack of his ass -- then returned to the center - and found his relaxed willing hole...
It tasted good...like some willing hot stud...

I rimmed him -- he didnt move -- or look at me --
he moaned and pushed his hips up...he slid his cock under so that I could suck it from behind...and I did...
He became hard and he lifted his ass up further into the air...
His cock sprang forward in full errection --
it was ringing so hard I could feel the pulsating waves of heat now emmanating from his hole -- I held my tongue there...burning his hole -- to come open...
he waited -- didn't move --
waited to be entered or fucked or maybe killed...??
or maybe both--

>>>>>>Strange thoughts emmanated into me or from me...
I dunno.. they were just in the room...

The rain storm pelted the glass outside in a furious way --- the windows shook from the wind...
lightning cracked off - and a bolt of bluish white - a few city blocks long, streaked the night sky in a flash...
The room lit up ---
I pondered the situation for a moment:
he said his name was Charles...I could see it in my mind
-- me and charles -
Charles and I - having dinner - in suits -- going to the theater...
laughing -- holding hands...
reading the paper on sunday in our boxers...
hanging around the house...me bringing him lunch at his offfice -- us - together playing weird sex games all night --
that would be so nice...two strange freaks finding each other -- finding the way together...
I paused - the rain caught my attention -- and the fantasy vanished...
washed away...

I began mumbling...- touching his hole slowly - getting to know it -- speaking softly...
"yeah------ I bet your a real load taker -- arent you ?
you dirty lil cum whore --
I bet thats your thing -- taking loads...from strangers--
going to the office with your ass full of hot jizz...in a 350$ dollar Thomas Pink shirt and a Hugo Boss suit...moving and shakin wall street and teasing all the bros down there with that hot bulge in your shorts...
a big grin on your face...
having everyone guessing what you do with your nights...
Is that it baby ? Is that what you like ??"

My fingers slid around the perimeter of his sphincter...
I rubbed the small of his back with my other hand...
"yeah daddy's here now...baby - gonna make it all better...or maybe you wanna give daddy your load...is that it ?
yeah ---- U lil cum whore -- lil barebacking rich boy ??
Is That IT?
Don't give a shit about anything ??
just wanna get fucked --?
I'am here now -- you found me -- I'am here...baby -- no more waiting...
whatever it is -- It's ok...were gonna do it together...its gonna be real nice - you and me -- alone here -- nobody to tell us what to do -- its just you and me and our hard cocks...our asses and whatever we say goes..."
A long pause...

There was no talk - ARE you poz or Neg? Do you want a Condom ??
Will you take my load? do you want my cum??
Can I have yours?? Do you care -- I don't care...
I'am tired of protecting myself from what -- I don't even know anymore -- my pain is yours baby and my grief and pain and lust...my hard cock -- my ass -- my hole -- my mouth - my MIND...is yours -- and in return --
I want all of you -- give me everything too...
would you like that baby -- be my hot cock sucking bro for the night ??
Be my coach -- frat bro -- my boy -- team player in the locker room
-- in the back room ---cum slut pig??

Is that why you called me tonight ??"

Now his hole was open and relaxed..waiting --
I assumed a position over him ready to mount his ass -- but I would surely take my time -- drill it in deep but slowly -
quietly -
letting him ache for it -- wanting the thrusts to go deeper and deeper until he cried or begged...
slowly -- grinding -- pulling away - strokin my cock then putting it back in-- just the head -- working its way in...
slowly I worked my cock into his bareback hole -- pure -- no questions...
natural and fine...
"Hey u lil load taker -- open that hole for daddy -- thats it baby...
show me that hole -- gonna give you some hot warm --cream...tonight"

He was ready for a ride --
my precum oozing and lubing up his hole just right --
edging it in...He nodded his head -- but still didn't speak...
he said yes -- without talking
Yes --
he wanted it : that was all I needed to know...
He nodded yes -- and still out eyes hadn't met --

The lights lowered - the room dark...
still I did not see his face...
simply the brown cropped hair -
the clean shaven sillouette..the strong jawline and the shawdow of his cheek...
a glass dildo laying on the bed next to him...
a small bottle of lube...
a small unmarked bottle of pills...
I started talking again -- and said some more really fucked up shit to him...

>>>>>>>>>>>
"Thats right baby -- you don't know me -- your here alone with me...
a total stranger walked in -- nobdy to save you if I do something fucked up -- now I'am gonna fuck you -- open your hole real good -- make you remember me -- do whatever I please..
and your gonna let me.
I could end your life if I wanted to...."
>>>-- his cock got harder -- his ass loosend more
>>>-- he arched his lower back to take more of my throbbing cock head...
and then he slide his ass up into the air to get fucked...Nice and hard...

The rythmm of our skin meeting: exploring -- learning about each other...
The movements were precise and dreamlike...and made me ache to know him...
I wasn't sure what he was on - pills - alcohol -- some pot -- but I was getting a contact high from it...and it felt good...

He grabbed his own cock and stroked it - I reached around -- fuck he had a nice one -- I wanted to suck it -- get his cream...
I continued stroking my pole and then pushing it up and into his hole further --- into his hot - warm -- and now juicy hole...
almost ready to take the whole of my cock -- just two mor thrusts and hed have it inside...just like a pro -- I took care of him...
I placed one hand on his lower back -- as if to say -- get ready -- youve got some hot fucking sausage sliding in...
- deep and hard -- I grabbd the sides of his hips -- then a final push until the base of my cock began to easily slide through - almost in...
everything lubed and juicy --

I held it there, ffor one more minute -- to let him breathe...and then
a final thrust -- "ah fuck---"
going deep, he took the cock --he moaned -- his body relaxed --
then his head fell...tilted to the left, but he still didnt look at me --
then he mumbled something like:
"god ur so fuckin hot..."

"Yeah know -- you could take everything -- maybe rob me -- beat me up--right now -- and it wouldn't matter -- your hard dick was what I needed...
nothing else matters...
If you wanna choke me - then do it --
if you wanna put a gun to my ass - you can..."
"fuck me -- yeah -- thats it -- I need it -- jus fuk me..." he kinda whimpered and then his voice trailed off into moaning...

He continued softly mumbling fucked up shit and -- riding my cock...

"The only thing that matters is that you came here...
that we met...I want everything...I have everything --
tonight I want your load --
your body --- our lust - maybe tonight I want your soul...
>>>>ahhhh--- don't stop..please don't stop..Give me everything..."
Just Then --
lightning shot across the floor-through - wall to wall windows outside -
then a loud crack of thunder...and then I released....
from deep inside my aching ass and nuts...
I gave him my load...
I shot two streaming loads, in two long squirts --right into his ass...
Gave him my essence....my spirit -- a part of me for ever...I held him hard and tight...while my jizz squirted in -- and I felt it rise up his spine --
through his entire back --
hitting him in the forehead...
everything was coated in light...white light -- blue -- god -- wamrth --
He took every drop -- willingly -- he was grateful...he sighed "Yes..."
he pushed back into me..
grabbed a bottle of poppers from under the pillow and inhaled from it deeply...
I flipped him around: chest to chest my cock still in his ass -
and then --- I grabbed his chin and brought it to mine ---
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> our eyes met --

We sat there motionless...the cum oozing out of his hole - down the base of my cock and onto the sheets...I nodded - "Yes."
I licked his chin and lips...and jutted my head toward him...as if it were a dare...
As if to say - "Cmon fucker - hit me.. spit on me...
I'll make you cry..."
my cock still hard - deep inside...his ass contracting still...
trying to suck more of my juice into his hungry hole...
we just stayed like that --
simply staring and dazed...

I was silent.
He was silent.
No talking.

All defenses and pretense gone -- I wrapped my arms around him -- and held him tight -- held him there closed my eyes and pressed my haed to his shoulder -- stayed that way - chest to chest -- heart to heart -- for maybe twenty minutes - an hour - forever -- I don't know...stayed that way -- mixing everything we had togethere...all the fluids and - chemicals -- and fear and lust: everything melting into one...
His and His: Heaven and Hell...

I kissed him again and then bit his lower lip wanting to cause pain, make him cry or beg or pull away: but he didn't...
I bit his chin hard and sucked it hard...
he didn't pull away...
He was so fucking beautiful...some poor lil rich white - abercrombie --
I want daddy...gonna drill you hard to prove everything...sweet hot--
husband ?
stud...

I lay my head to his chest --
Then slowly I slid my cock out of his ass and laid on top of him listening to his heart beat -- pinning him down -- feeling all the juice from his hole and my cream all mixed - wetting my pole -- feeling it coated in the air and then rubbing against the sheets sticky and warm...and going soft...I relaxed...and sighed...
He didn't move...then he wrapped his arms around me and held me ---
We lay there for maybe hours...sweating - holding - sometimes kissing...
sleeping...
Then I woke up -- kinda in a trance or out of one ---
I lifted my head and torso up --I looked into his eyes again and shook my head - so fucking nice... and then I slid down -- my throat to his crotch --
my face above his stomache...I rubbed my heavy - thiick beard across his skin---then
I bit his navel and paused then I brought my lips to the under side of his shaft -- now growing stiff again...
...and then I sucked the head of his cock -- long strokes -- with my hand wrapped around the base -- trying to get his cream...I wanted that load in my mouth and inside -- where it belonged
-- fresh from behind his throbbing hole -- from deep inside his beefy - hot low hangers-- then i knew -- he moaned out loud -- and nodded...like here it comes...fuck yes!

Two strokes and then --
bamm he shot -- three hot streams of cum exploded in my mouth -
sweet - hot -- sticky -- potent...mine...
I felt the deep thrust from his groin as I milked his cock into my mouth -- swaying and holdiing it tight to my lips--
I pressed the pulsing base under his balls to push all the hot milk forward from his balls into my willing mouth -- I wanted it all -- wanted to drain his nuts of everything --- it warmed the back of my throat...and then also for awhile we stayed that way...the streams slowing to a slo ooze---
until he went soft...I held my head on his lower belly like that -- his cock still in my mouth --- the head to my lips -- with the spit and cum soaking my cheeeks and his bush above his perfect ---shaft....
Still we didn't talk...
then I layed down next to him...but I turned my face away...almost falling into sleep...
Now it was my turn...
I made it obvious from my body language...

He could have me - Do whatever he wanted -- strangle me - - hit me over the head -- fuck me -- abuse me -- hit me --- spit on me -- kill me --
heal me --- all at once -- lose control or tell me to go --
his call...

I layed down all my defenses...
naked in every way...just as he had offered to me...
there was silence...for a long time...
Only the rain could be heard around the darkened bed...
the wind outside -- tapping against the panes of glass...
i felt him get up and leave the bed -- my eyes were closed and i was laying face down -- He left the room for a moment
and then returned --
I didn't look up --
After awhile I felt him kneading my ass cheeks - from behind --
spreading my ass open...my hole responding to the air...and then the carees of his hand...
He pulled my head up: my chin toward him and met my eyes --
then he slid me around so we were chest to chest --
he held my chin tight in his hand -- eyes fixed onto mine --
"Don't look away -- " he mumbled -- and I didn't...
still locked onto my gaze...
he put a finger to his lips and allowed spit from his tongue to drip onto it -- and then slowly he lowered that hand and his wet fingers to my hole -- tapping on it then rimming me with his tongue and then slid his fingers in and around my shincter and then finally-- into my hole...
He moved them around - watching the expressions on face change --
then he pulled them out brought them up -- and sat up -- touched his fingers to my lips
and whispered,
"This is what your ass tastes like..taste it." I sucked on the musky fingers...and took in the taste of my own ass...
He fuckin dug it ...
then he grabbed my face - like he was losing control - passion he couldn't contain...his blue/green eyes kind of drunken...wide, lazy and doped...
and he kissed me again..hard and passionate and clean, deep --deep,
his tongue went into my mouth -- big sloppy -- wet -- hot kisses--

A few times he stopped---
looked into my eyes again and then spit onto my chest -- or into my mouth -- and then returned to kissing me again...
I pulled away and likewise spit on him and his chest and face -- both of us were getting hard again...spittting and sucking tongues and biting lips --
sprayed with sweat and spit and cum everywhere---
he pushed me down on the bed and then stood up over me and began stroking his cock -- which now was again at full errection...
I took in the view -- - he towered over me -- I could see his nice pole -- his hole moist and kinda still open...dripping jizz-
his strong thighs...and kinda doped out grin...innocent and
raunchy-boy-man-child -- hot fucker -- lover...gonna giv u the jack-hammer --right now boy -- gonna give your ass a good pounding you'll never forget---
then he bent over -- still jerking off --
his cock rock hard --he positioned me the way he wanted me -- slid me around on the bed -- grabbbed my ankles -- my ass bunching up the sheets pressed my thighs up to my chest -- and commanded: "Hold um there --"
I roped my fore arms at my elbows to the back of my knees...
I held there -- my hole spread open -- exposed - to him --
now opening up at the thought of his hrad dick entering it -- I was a well trained bottom -- and knew what to do --
he moved to rimm my ass and slide his tongue and fingers --
around my hole opening it up....
he grabbed my hard dick and gave it a few pumps --
tongued my taint and sucked on my nut-sack: stroked me more and then looked into my eyes..while he was doing it --
then he moved forward and swallowed the entire thiick sticky shaft...
my dick was still freshly lubed and kinda greasy from his hole..
the mix of his ass-juice and my cream...and spit...our hot fucking lust...
mouth to cock -- burning again -- into one...
the smell filled the air -- of sweat and body oder and semen and sex --
of fear and release and pain and love...
and then finally he offered his hand close to my face -- nodded and said: "Spit..."
I did as he commanded -- laid a nice wad of natural lube into the palm of his hand -- like a pro -- he slid it around my hole...
fingered it once more -- pressed and slid his shaft along the crack -- up and down -- easing the head toward the hole and then teasing...pressing it in - then pulling back -- then I began to cry -- "ohh fuc - giv me ur cock -- oh fuck I need that cock..."

We both were in a place menatally where we had accessed the dark-light alternative reality ---cosmic- spirits and bodies in the zone-- together -- like we were the only two people that understood anything...
or that ever cared or that were ever in pain...
He looked deep at me - and then slid that hot beautiful pole of his into my hole nodding yes --
"I'am gonna give you the cream baby -- give you my hot burning load --
so I'll always be there -- inside -- with you -- no matter what..."
>>>>>>>
He fucked me a long time -- sometimes slow and sometimes pounding -- getting my hole juicy and shooting more and more heat into it --
....until I begged for his milk...
the sun was coming up -- the room filling with morning light -- the city scape widining across the windows -- an entire view of central park...
brushing the trees - coming toward us --
as a soft light crawling across the carpet - then the sheets and then
our bodies:
bathing us in a strange glow of sexual communion...out of our bodies but totally present...fianlly he exploded a load in my ass...
we both let out yells of pain and release...I felt the warmth shoot into my ass and then belly and then up to my forehead...
my heart chakra -- my chest opening up -- releasing all manner of love and maybe some pain....
He fell to my cock and sucked all the juice out and off -- from my balls and stomache -- then - I guess - we both passed out...

>>>>>>>>>>>>

>As I was saying....
>
>I'd be in a sling all day with my ass spread wide open (and clean shaven) waiting for you to eat it out and then bury your huge cock in it. Your buds would come over and you'd show me off to them and they would be be jealous of you and would want some of my ass. Would you give it to them since its your ass, your hole? Would you let them take me out of my cage at anytime they wanted and make me serve them and worship their cocks as I would worship yours?





ice pick into my heart...


full moon 2006 winter ??
Current mood: morose
full moon

the newness and intensity of winter announces itself as I pace through hell's kitchen
its time to burn some candles 
buy candles
arriving 
a cold snap -
a crispness - winter - here - now
about to freeze

the sudden cold forces a pain to reveal itself...
I stop to glance at a couple on the street
their warm embrace
the full moon above 
begins to force something out
a wounded groan - the sound of an animal howling...
blocked but gaining in it's intention...
at times like this one - I'd write - conjure words
spells or chants -- 
light candles...
the sound - the pain - inside is as old as my existence here --
home sick -
birth
wandering
wanting...

tragedy is not supposed to happen
not to something pure or beautiful
something rare or poetic
but there it is...

crashing down around all of us - so loud and screaming - it races by
to a few -- who know the secret
this is how art is born 
birthed 
and released 

from the golden light 
of the deeper wound...

I'am cold - I want to go home --

the vice around my throat
holding down the fear of release 
can not be stopped
can not be held...
melting by fire
in the crucible below my belt...

I'am cold and burning and have to get home
candles in hand 
I hit the door and run amidst the scattered chaos of my space...
pulling off my outer clothes - down to my shorts
left in a pile...
down a hallway...

lighting candles
the flames arise
and blinding thirst hits my forehead 
light - and light and light - blocked
thirst
a simple cigarette and release from my groin is not going to fix this one...

I begin sweating
an errection won't surface
can't focus...
music...
back beat - tribal - primative
loud....stomping
crying
aching
trying to move the hand to the phallus...

on my knees
every sense alive
spasms
heaving

a pounding on the door - 
pound - pound
the music is too loud - the nieghboors are awake
I'am blind
the door shutters and almost breaks
the hinges hold...pound

pound

I lift myself up -
water for the thirst

I crawl to the refridgerator
lift up
one hand and the door swings open...
ice....everywhere

from the top down...
the freezer - frozen
slick ice
the ice trays fly
thirst
ice pick
finds my hand
a large chunk hits the floor and I slide it into my mouth...
the strength of my body returns and finds the force from the groin
swelling up
a rise - the errection
ice pick to ice
hard to the ice
my testicles ooze pain and pre-cum
as I pick - pick - pick
the ice away...
heaving my libido
pulsing my hips and another precise whack
into the ice 
it hits the floor...
and then I scream....
my hands are covered in blood

I stand in a pile of ice...
sweat falling from my forehead...
my shorts wet from orgasm...
my feet burning from the cold
the ice turning to water
and then
a scream so loud it stops the pounding at the door
there 
silence....

there is no more ice in the compartment...
no more pain - in the space
silence - 
pure and new

I crawl through the clothes and blood and ice to find the bed...
I lay face up - heaving
find the phone
and hold the reciever to my hand
breathing and heaving
and speaking....
finally telling....
and then I black out....


in a pool of silence- the moon protects me and tells...
shines through the window....
dreaming of home and then the boddy finally relaxes
and I find sleep

I'am released into peace...