Seanblog - "More tales from P-Town

posted on blogger 2/08
seans blue sexy dreamland...




monday 5/8/06

woke up - 5:30 am
sweats : light
itch : low
slept with the window open

the apartment is cool...
as if something is gone.

the tranquility of early mornings is growing on me.
the period of dawn is soothing somehow.
renewal.

the clinic - the sunflower seeds - everyone in the clinic got hiv one of 2 ways...

the doctor tells me "your not frail -- you can go
outside --"

wants to check my testoserone levels:
angelo takes my blood - he slips the needle in and i don't even feel it --
hes talking about what he had for breakfast: peanut butter and jelly??
dr. K
says that I'am coming along fine -- and that my virus or viral load is getting lower --indicated by the abscence of night sweats...


>>>noon: visit from ms. irma.

yoga stretch with jj

pink cake --
calm bear -- yoga bear...

block buster visit number two --
blonde abercrombie dude early twenties --
the cashier has seeen me on tv -

gaining weight back in my ass and feel good --
all of a sudden i have to take a dump..fuck --

cock of the walk --
starbucks bathroom is out --

how to pick up gay guys and
why gay guys love their butts ---
and the ultimate act of submission -
there is nothing like feeling the cockhead of some stud pressing lightly up against your your butthole-
warming it up -- breathing down the back of your neck. his palms on your ass cheeks - shoulders or in some cases if the guy really knows what hes doing he reaches around through your arms and takes both your chest nipples in his fingers
and pinches them almost too hard - and as he does this the skilled cocks-man will push his dick into your hole ever more - squeezing the nipples and working your hole until it opens --
ready to recieve...

there was this guy in p-town one summer...
it was hot and i was wearing shorts - kinda wandering along the shore at night...

he just came up behind me and yanked um down -- rubbing his beard on the back shoulder blade and sucking on my neck like a mother cat right at the scruff...kinda biting it a little but just right.
he had a big one -- nice -- nice sized coke head -- ooozing pre--cum --
he rubbed his dick on the back of my thigh and it was hard.
the only thing i could say was -- ohh fuck -- and try to breathe through the heat surging around my groin. he pushed me against a fence which i held onto and then he fingered my hole.
he knealt down stoking his cock at the same time rimmed my butt a little and asked me if i liked that -- and then opened my ass cheeks more exposing my hole to the cool air...
then he stuck his tongue up my ass futher leaving a trail of his saliva up and down my crack --
getting it wet...
then he stood up and i knew what he was going to do next -- his hands firmly on my back shoulders --
both our hieghts were just the right for him to manuvear - massaging my shoulders a bit and then again reaching underneath my arms he found my chest nipples and pinched them hard
and then -- slide his cock so perfectly into my ass i almost passed out -- my hole: hot and open...
thrust upon slow thrust like a pro
i shot a wad gripping the ring of my ass around his shaft - oh fuck///
after i shot
he pulled out and jerked off sucking on my neck and - pushing only the head of his dick up against my hole -- he then shot his load -- shot most of it in the sand --- i think if he asked if i wanted his load i wolud have said yes...
making some really sexy noises in the process -- kinda heaving like he dug it all and and then holding me to him his arms wrapped around me for a brief minute...still back to chest he laid his head onto my neck and hugged me and then exhaled -- kissing and then biting my shoulder one time gently --
and saying he had to go --
guys cumming in my ass was never my thing - there are guys who seem to make a point of it -- saying they want it -- i was always hestitant to give mine up -- first of all in the thros of passion we aren't thinking clearly and i understood that so if i fucked a guy then hed have to ask for it three times...
"are you sure??"
-- Id repeat and if they nodded "yes"
id either pull out and say "you dont deserve it"
or
if it felt right - which was only a few times:
less than five --
id squirt a hot load as deep as i could get it -- into his ass - pulling the guy toward me and holding him down: so as to not waste a drop...

my heasitation was not a particulair concern for thier health mind you because they obviously were poz or wanted to be if they were activley taking loads --
my concern was that my "chi" essence or liforce which i consider refined and powerful from all the years of pyschic clearing and meditiation would start a reaction in their systems -- raise their kundalinis to open much like a "shakitiput" from a guru...opening their etheric bodies and auras...
like i said -- if they asked and it felt right then id go ahead knowing id be tied to them somehow...and then again perhaps they were drawn to me because of this...because like with the guy on the beach they wanted my essence or power inside of them...

even before my psychic abiltities tripled i always knew that when a guy expells his seed -- he grants you a portion of his life-force...a part of his essnce.

and lets face it there were some guys through the years that although fun to play with you wouldn't want them hanging around -- atleast not pyschically anyway...
but this guy from p-town on the beach -- was different - knowing and powerful -- traits i shared and wanted more of -- yeah i would have,
and maybe i should have...
i wanted him in me -- wanted to remember him...
and through all the sex ive had hes been the only one ... trick or lover -- now poz i wish i had...

isn't that why a guy wants to be with a certain guy.
he wants to assume - or feel that guys heat -
his essence - his lifeorce...
he wants to "know him."
isn't that what distinguishes who we want to kneel before and pleasure or give our asses to. the guy thats worthy..

there will always be the question in my mind:
was i courting death or simply trying to cheat it...???